


Unsteady

by priestessarcana



Category: Persona 5
Genre: F/F, Implied Suicide Attempt, Mostly Canon Compliant, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Recovery, i tried to keep it vague tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 04:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10846782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/priestessarcana/pseuds/priestessarcana
Summary: Ann, Shiho, and healing together.





	Unsteady

**Author's Note:**

> this is all over the place tbh i'll probably go back and edit this but i just had to get this written now

It had started when Shiho awoke from her coma. Ann had been at her side, as per usual, almost dozing off in the plastic chair that never moved from the side of Shiho’s hospital bed; at this point, she had become accustomed to the scent of disinfectant, as familiar as home. In a way, it was home – she’d slept in the hospital multiple times, against the wishes of concerned employees. Shiho shifted, groaning softly as her eyes fluttered open, and her best friend jolted into full consciousness.  
“Shiho!” Ann’s voice was barely a whisper. “Shiho. Shiho. Shiho…” She began to sob, reaching to hold Shiho’s hand with both of her own; her fingers gripped onto Ann’s weakly. “I missed you so much.” Ann gave her hand a gentle squeeze.  
“I’m here to stay now. I’m sorry…” Shiho couldn’t find it in her to look at her best friend directly. “I just felt so hopeless.”  
“I know.  _I know._ ” Ann’s voice cracked as she spoke.  
Shiho’s other hand reached up to stroke her cheek, brushing away the trails of tears.

Visits became more frequent as Shiho recovered. Neither girl addressed it, but Shiho certainly perceived the change. A tearful confession soon came, nowhere near as graceful and eloquent as the blonde had hoped – and as Shiho deserved, Ann thought – and once Shiho was out of the hospital, they had tentatively eased into a relationship. Touches were fleeting and hesitant at first. Both understood the other’s reluctance (“I still feel his touch sometimes,” Shiho had whispered once as the two lay entangled in an embrace in the darkness of Ann’s bedroom; “Will it ever go away?” She had asked,  _pleaded._  Ann didn't know how to respond. She hoped it would.  _God, how she hoped_ ).

"It's my fault," Ann blurted out one day. "It's because I refused him, Shiho, this is all my fault!" Shiho, never one to have a way with words ( _not like Ann),_ just held her.

* * *

“He confessed,” Ann said later, laying a hand gently on Shiho’s shoulder. The other knew better than to ask why or how; she was just relieved to have some sort of closure, however small. “I’m so, so proud of you for staying with us. I know how hard it must be, Shiho. It’ll get better.”  _Bullshit,_ Shiho would have said not long ago,  _it can only get worse._

“We’re both managing,” she says finally. 

"Yeah." 

They leave it at that, and move onto lighter subjects. Ann's modeling opportunities, Shiho considering joining her new school's volleyball team - Ann envied that slightly, as she realized with a pang of guilt that she herself still held onto the past.

“Can I kiss you?” Shiho suddenly asked, snapping Ann back to the present.

“I, uh, yeah-” Ann stuttered, shuffling closer to her girlfriend.

Shiho leaned in awkwardly, unsure, and hesitantly pressed her lips against the blonde’s. It was clumsy, their noses bumping and hands fumbling to find a place to rest, before Ann settled her hands on Shiho’s waist, and the other girl’s hands cupping Ann’s cheeks. When Ann shifted, swinging a leg over Shiho’s hips to straddle her, the other girl jerked backward, body tensing.

“Sorry!” Ann scrambled off of her lap, guilt coursing through her body. “I wasn’t thinking,” she sighed, awaiting a response nervously.

“It’s okay, really,” the other insisted.

Ann’s anxiety deflated, and she leaned back in to kiss Shiho’s forehead, smoothing her bangs back as she did.

* * *

Over time, Shiho’s sullen demeanor, all her guilt and self-blame, began to fade, the girl Ann once knew beginning to return. That wasn’t to say, however, that there weren’t hitches in her recovery. Ann understood; she truly did, having been tied into Shiho’s burdens so intricately. Some days, neither could make it out of bed. Often one would spend the night at the other’s house; after Shiho’s transfer, it became foreign to sleep alone, as it was their only time together more often than not.

Despite Ann being the motivator out of the two in their joint recovery, as she awoke one such morning, she knew it was one of those days; there was no way she could go to school, no way she could do anything. She immediately buried her head under the blanket, curling closer against Shiho as anxiety consumed her, dread coursing through her veins: _It’s all my fault god I deserve this more if only I’d let him why her why not me fuck fuck fuck_ -

“Ann.” Shiho’s voice, sleepy and absent as it was, brought her away from her thoughts. A choked sob escaped Ann. She took a shaky breath, allowing Shiho to rest her chin on her head comfortingly. The weight grounded her, keeping her focused on only Shiho. Only _her._

Ann, beginning to relax under Shiho’s reassuring touch, let her eyes slip closed.

“We’ll be okay,” Ann affirmed after a moment.

And she meant it.


End file.
